Dear Future Mothers; May we teach our sons to become real men and not just bear the status by what dangles between his legs

Rantsofthismadblackgirl
IG - Vivilandra

Learn to stop seeking approval from your pastors and seek validation directly from God.Spirituality doesnt come from religion,religion is a set of rules created by imperfect humans.Spirituality comes from deep within our soul,we must learn to stop confusing religion with spirituality.

SOCIETAL MISPLACED VALUES

Its been a long time i have written anything due to a tight school programme. I want to pen down a short piece on this topic "misplaced values" .
I was at the spar mall port-harcourt two days ago and a couple showed open display of affection by kissing each other publicly..Immediately i noticed two women at my back,scowling and eventually muttered in disaproval .There are children here for crying out loud ;one lady muttered staring at the couple in disgust. I left the mall and saw the same woman at the junction,with her car parked and her husband obviously urinating by the side of the road.
This is my take ...we have a whole lot of misplaced values in our society . So it is wrong for a couple genuinely in love to show open public display of affection in our society ? And it is ok by society standards for a full fledged Man with his family in the car to alight from the car and expose his privates in the name of urinating by the side of the road.No woman or man will mutter or send disgusting scowls at him,or say excuse me sir this is wrong ,there are kids in the car.
The same woman who showed open disgust to the couple who locked lips outside (kissing) ,would turn the other eye when a man brings out his penis in the open ,urinating by the side of the road and think it NORMAL..

DEAR WOMAN : LEARN TO STRUGGLE

I will rather struggle everyday of my life than to ever give a man the power to say"you wouldnt be who you are today if it wasnt for me". Yes a few might have and are still supporting you along this journey,but the resilience to make something of your self dear woman...to be a "mini god" in your choosen career or buisness empire. You might never be seen as an equal to men but you can be respected as an equal in achievment. The feeling to be given a seat at their table as so many strong women before you in times past.When you walk into a room ,you walk in power and speak in depth,that is the woman you should crave to be.The kind of beauty you should strive to get, is the hard to get kind,the beauty that comes from within - strength,courage and dignity.
Vilandrasquill(rantsofthismadblackgirl)

One day you are going to get old.
And it wont be how pretty you are anymore.
Its a mistake to be out here competing
With God and gravity.
A girl just turned 18 today,
Sad to say she is already on your heels.
All she wants is brazillian hair and bags.
If you give the best years of your life,and body to the Game,
You will be left with nothing.
Make haste with the youth you have,
Achieve greatness.
Vivilandra
Rational rants of this mad black girl

EMBRACE THE STRUGGLE

Never be ashamed or embarrased to struggle.There is absolutely no shame in working hard to get to where you want to be. No shame at all.There is dignity in Labour.
sometimes its tough and at times it gets rough,keep your head up and above water. I have never heard of a farmer who cultivated his land diligently and failed to produce a bountiful harvest

THE LAST OF THE GREAT ONES

(ELECHI AMADI)

You have lived ,but i have lived through you.
You came generations before me,
Your footprints left in the sand i tried to study.
Your books THE GREAT PONDS,AND THE CONCUBINE,
Gave birth to the literature i have come to love.
From the time i read your books,i devoured every written book you authored.

I am still in shock,at the sudden news of your demise.
I never knew you personally,but i feel as if i have known you through your books.
The loss is great as my heart sinks in despair,
Never will i see such writing again.
Achebe has called you ,to break kola
With him in the land of the spirits.

Your tired bones should rest,its time to join the rest of the great ones .
REST IN PEACE ELECHI AMADI,]
Thank you for leaving a part of you behind.
Sleep well the last of the dragons,
Sunset is finally here .
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THE BEAUTIFUL ENIGMA

I am different.Always have been.
It took a while,but i have accepted
That i am magic
Not meant for everyone
To understand,
So they question
And thats ok.

KNOW THY SELF

Nobody can tell me who i am ,nobody can define me. The minute i took my first step toddling round ,i knew myself. This fiery ,Adventurous , confident ,stubborn, defiant toddler grew to the woman i am today.

You dont stifle the way i write or the way i am to think ,for i own my thoughts .I stand by my truths,political charged, relevant and important. What i will become has been destined by God .So when i dont shrink know that my Ancestors who have been guarding me never sleeps.

Take your meekness, throw it into the OCEAN.. I am unapologetically me ..
My name is ONYINYE VIVIAN AMINA OKEREKE. I am my fathers daughter

#theijeoma sets fire 2 my pen# unbridled females# yes am on fire # no apologies # only the deep understand#
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YOU WILL FORGIVE !

When your heart hurts,
Come what may, you will forgive.
Has death snatched a beloved from you? you will forgive.
Has nature denied you of a strong desire? you will forgive.

Has life thought you a lesson in a hard way? you will forgive.
Who has painted a wrong picture of yours publicly? You shall forgive.
Has man cheated you in one way or the other? you will forgive.
Has nature or man played a rough one on you that forgiving and forgetting seems impossible?

Let go!
Is it easy ? NO it aint . Forgive yourself and whatever it is that aches your heart.
As our time of departing this earth is most uncertain, Never bear a long lasting grudge that will metamorphose into animosity!
One of the things you tell God shall be
" They hurt me but I forgave them"
Let it Go, "Vengeance is for the Lord".
Time will certainly make everything right and beautiful again.
Beautiful week ahead ...Godbless you all

YOU ARE NOT EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA

The world is filled with people who,no matter what you do,no matter what you try,will simply not like you. That is ok dear,the world is also filled with people who will love you fiercly,the ones who love you: they are your people ...

I am writing this to every woman or man out there, Asking your self questions like ...why didnt it work? I thought he/she liked me? Why is there a communication gap? Why did he/she leave me ? Why are we not friends?

Dont waste your finite time and heart trying to convince the people who aren't your people that you have value. They will miss it completely. They wont buy what you are selling. Dont try to convince them to walk your part with you. You are not for them and they are not for you. You are not their cup of tea and they are not yours..

Politely wave them along and you move away as well. Seek to share your path with those who value you and recognise and appreciate your gifts.

Be who you are dear, you are not everyone's cup of tea and that is ok.

MAIL YOURSELF TO FREEDOM

Today i am gonna write about a phenomenal person,his name is HENRY BOX BROWN. His story is a true story and it needs to be told . He was born on a Virginia plantation ,it was assumed he was born in the year 1915 as no one knows how old he is,nobody keeps records of slaves births. He was born a slave and lived under slavery got married and eventually had four kids under slavery. His family was later sold off to another plantation and it left him devastated. He decided to take matters into his own hands and escape slavery to a country where slave trade was abolished . His plan was to have himself shipped from Richmond to philadelphia,were slavery was abolished . AT the age of 33 he arranged to have himself mailed in a wooden crate to philadelphia in a box labelled Dry Goods and he succeded.
As a writer i look beyond this story and all i see is a man determined to fight his way to freedom against all odds.All i see is a man whoose strenght should be exalted and courage applauded . To travel in a small box for days huddled inside , without food or water despite the pains and unbearable circumstances just to gain freedom is a major feat. Today not many of us are able to fight and stand for what we believe in , even if its just speaking out .
Lets all draw renewed strength from
this man Henry box Brown. In any circumstance you find yourself in ,at work,in marraige,in your relationship with people ,in buisness,in your society fight for what you believe in,never give up. Dont settle for the status quo ... WHEN THERE IS A WILL ,THERE IS A WAY. Remember the box labeled Dry goods was just a box to carry him accros the seas,dont let that box keep you caged ... ( MAIL YOURSELF TO FREEDOM)

EVOLVE BEAUTIFUL AFRICAN WOMAN

When people ask me the question ,
What do you do ? I say whatever it takes .. Today i am a SCHOLAR ,tommoro i am an ENTEPRENUER, next tommoro i am an ACTIVIST /MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER,A MODEL,An ACTIVIST, A BEAUTICIAN,A BLOGGER etc.

I could have been a dancer the night before and the next day i am on my pumps and heels in the office giving a presentation Accurately.Someone that has experienced the multiple sides of me once said to me , you amaze me,i cant seem to place you. You see i love to grow,i am not the same woman i was last year ,last week or even last night.

I AM TOO GREAT TO REMAIN THE SAME WHEN LIFE IS ALWAYS CHANGING..just because others around you won't grow ,doesn't mean they have to fill your shine. I love African women that grow and evolve especially with our times and changing Economy . I am addicted to improving myself. There was a time i wanted to learn Chinese,french,Scottish all at once . The french part i did achieve ,there was also a time i wanted to improve my culinary skills , become a doctor in my field of study ,learn how to ride a sports bike , write my own books, own a blog, own a fashion line.The blog i now own and my book i am working on it, the doctor in my field of study i am already reading towards it,the sports bike i have gotten a feel of riding and the fashion line is in the future works..

My point is GROW ON BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,EVOLVE,LIVE,LAUGH AS HARD AS YOU WANT...

LETTER TO THE 21ST CENTURY PHILANDERER

I met a friend at a birthday dinner i attended, i casually asked about her family and supposed boyfriend. She replied with a sigh ,onyinye that boy is a liar,he just lied to me to sleep with me. He actually has a girl friend but at that time they were having issues and he needed a distraction. He told me he was single and showed an amount of seriousness and commitment to the relationship and i fell for his lies . I found out later and my heart is broken in pieces,especially when i confronted him and he couldnt deny it ,she replied .

It took a post i saw on instagram to give me the epiphany i needed to write this piece . My question is this,Dear men are we still in that Era of lies ? Are we still in the Era where you try to piece your fabricated lies from the pit of hell just to get a woman in so doing you hurt her? Look around you this is 2016 ,i find it very annoying that men still feel the need to lie to get their way with women.
This is 2016 and you will be suprised at how open minded women are to certain things. No matter how weird or deranged your intentions are ,i feel that if everyone would just be straightfoward with their intentions then there will be less hurt in the world . If sex is all you want please man-up and admit it,you would be suprised to find women who are just looking for Sex. If you are just looking for temporary company while your patner is away, please have the integrity to admit it . You will be shocked to discover how most girls too are only looking for a temporary solution, a rite of passage before they settle down. If you are looking for a serious relationship,please state it from the onset and your actions should depict what you want. My point is whatever you want be straightfoward about it . Yes you might loose some women you want by making open your intentions,because they might not agree with your terms . If miss vivian doesnt agree with your views , i am sure miss Bisola or Eniola would agree to your terms.

These days the term side -chick has come to stay .Which in the Nigerian terms means a woman knowing you are in a relationship with another girl but agreeing to date you without interfering in your on going relationship.
My question ...why are some guys still leaving in the 80's ,and basking in the demented Euphoria leaving broken hearts as you move .
In this piece i am not imploring you to stop your wicked and philandering activities ..please by all means continue in the task the devil has laid out for you.
All i am saying is please Embrace the new ever evolving changing society .
Add just a little bit of integrity and prestige to your supposed lifestyle . We are tired of the creed from the book of philanderers from the 80's ,please read the new Edition and save stress for everyone .It makes your job and effort you put in lying easier and your sin dignifying.
From a concerned Citizen .

GO TO WAR FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

I woke up today to pass rumola road ( it's a major Area in port-harcourt). Lo and behold I saw two well dressed lady squabbling and tearing each other's cloths. My interest was piqued because these ladies looked very well dressed to be seen fighting. My mind went to many areas , could it be that maybe one owed the other money ? Could it be that one wants to kill the other ? Are they both mad ? Or maybe is it the case of an
angry wife beating a incessant home wrecker?
Out of curiosity I drew closer and lo and behold ,people gathered and begged the two of them.The ladies were both single and they crux of their disagreement was a Man. They were fighting and reaching for each other's cloths ..screaming leave my man . "He is my man ,I met him first". Imagine my shock and disgust at the waste of my time and the shame that came over me .
One of the ladies had her blouse torn into shreds and her torso left bare with bite marks on her shoulder . I thought of the so called man they are fighting over ,I wanted to see a picture of him. I tried to imagine what he may look like , He just has to be a mini -God, the lords chosen son,the last man standing,a Greek Adonis,a dangote of our time,even with all these qualities it's still not worth it. With all the men that roam this entire world,what calibre of man would put you girls through this ,that you decide to disgrace the name of your father's house and ancestors .
One advice for the ladies ,please if you must fight ,save your strength - LADIES NEVER FIGHT OVER A MAN,FIGHT OVER A JOB,YOUR SPACE QUEUE,FOR THE LAST CHICKEN WING,BUT NEVER OVER A MAN.... it's not worth it.So many ladies have lost aimportant friendships today over a man.
So many ladies have lost good acquaintances over a man.

I am not saying a man (your man) ain't important, all am saying is the man that truly loves you and respects you ,be it your husband or boyfriend ,he won't put you through such emotional squabble. Lets learn to give ourselves sense this 2016

THE SILENCE

A friend asked me what is my greatest fear. I thought for quite sometime and I told her my greatest fear is SILENCE . She was puzzled and had no inkling as to why I chose to say Silence is my greatest fear. The word silence struck me . It was too deep to explain and I searched for a lighter word to explain to her why SILENCE is my greatest fear unfortunately there was little time to explain. I know she will read this and I know you all would understand at the end of this short piece, why SILENCE is and will always be my greatest fear.
I went for a friend's sisters burial who died young. It was emotional and sorrowful. As her sister wept at the grave side and called out the name of the dead in agony and pain all she heard was SILENCE from the dead. No answer no reply. It struck me again The SILENCE of the dead. The SILENCE between two lovers or couples.when there is dis-harmony in a once happy home and all you observe between them is Silence.The silence between Friends, who once laughed and talked together, suddenly they go their separate ways and all that is between them when they pass each other on the street is Silence. The silence when we are in trouble and we seek help and support from people we think would come to our aid, all we get in return from them is SILENCE. No help, no encouragement, no hopeful words just SILENCE.

The SILENCE of a baby whoose laughter once filled the house with joy and cries pierced through the night, suddenly quiet and can no longer cry nor laugh. The Silence when we think God is silent in our life , things are not going our way and maybe God ain't answering our prayers.

Ohh yes I don't fear death , I don't fear illness, what I fear most is THE SILENCE.

VALENTINES DAY (The MISCONCEPTION)

When I see pictures like this my heart bleeds. ..not for the lady in the picture but for the ignorance associated with this . This is not all what valentines day is all about☝☝. Please let's not turn the true meaning of valentine into something dirty. I know valentine day is a day associated with lovers, After all febuary is a month of love and romance.
Let us also know that its a month of giving , of helping the less priviledged .We forget the origin of this day Valentine ...st VALENTINE a priest who rose to fame in the thrid century . He was known for his charitable heart , his method of showing love to people.The emperor enlisted unmarried men into his Army and put a ban against them on marraige , so they would concentrate more on the battle field .st VALENTINE secretly helped soldiers get married against the emperors wishes and was thrown in prison.
In prison he healed the prison warders daughter who was blind and converted her to Christianity before he died in prison. He died for showing love to others and helping people..
Please let's all focus on the symbol of this short story ..A season of showing love to others , not only on a particular day but everyday of our lives . On a day like this looking at this pic I posted above , you can understand why i said she soiled a very beautiful day , a very beautiful symbolic day by that caption.
This is not all what valentine's day stands for, it shouldn't be sexualised. it is much more than that , it's about the beauty you see in people, the love you show yes to your spouse and Also others..We remember a saint that died for love because he helped others . Let's all remember that as we celebrate this beautiful day . Happy vals day in advance peeps, I 💟💗 u all😘

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME

       I came across this picture and it didn't mean much to me at first, until I entered a public transport yesterday . A middle age lady selling banana walked up to the taxi I boarded to advertise her ware. Her clothes were tattered , and the holes in her blouse smiled at me through the windows. She used the edge of her wrapper to wipe her fore head , as sh tried to smile through furrowed brows under the scorching sun.                    
    Buy my banana , it's only 300 naira she piqued in a high pitched voice. A well dressed young lady sitting beside the driver wanted to buy and said in a degrading voice, is it not 200 naira she asked with scorn. Banana that I buy everyday, how come your own is different? The woman looked at her through eyes almost akin to mercy and replied the young girl . I would not cheat you ma'am,This particular banana is bigger than the one of 200naira.  

Then you are not ready to sell said the girl in a scorned voice, forcing me to look up and observe the two of them. Please ma take it for 250 the lady selling the banana said , her voice laden with pity and strain. You would be my first customer today beautiful auntie the old woman piqued, smiling cheerfully with her eyes.                                                     

The young well dressed lady in front of the taxi , with power and authority in her voice said then you are not ready to sell please go.My question today is why haggle over a difference of 50 naira with a woman you see that's obviously working hard in her own capacity , trying to make profit to eat or feed a family .

SHE chose not to beg , but decided to make a decent living and the charity we show to others in her situation goes a long way to encourage and help her without making her feel like a beggar.
Most times we cary big envelopes and give large tithes and offering in our various churches, we spend money on drinks and cloths at the bars and boutiques.
You don't want to feel ripped off , or cheated by a poor hawker but you get cheated everyday of your life at the boutiques , the eatries you eat in, the so called luxury so many fake brands sell to you. There is no measure in giving, sometimes we overlook .
SOMETIMES BUY EVEN IF WE DON'T NEED, THEY ARE THE ONES WHO DON'T BEG.CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME .....

                  UNCOMMON GRACE
  

    Woke up this morning to see a beautiful picture covering the front of THISDAY STYLE MAGAZINE.A picture of a beautiful woman, I said to myself well another one of those beautiful  women. I looked at her the caption (Agege bread seller) and I remembered her story. Her's was was a story of time and chance.   
 The famous photographer TY bello happened to take a shot of Tinnie Tempah and a young lady selling Agege bread happened to pass by at the same time the flick of the camera captured her and Tinnie Tempah. When the pictures were out the question on everybody's lips was , who is the lady selling bread? Is she a model? Is she part of the shoot? She is beautiful.  The search for the mysterious lady began ,and she was found a week later. A 27yr old lady with two kids , who could neither speak English nor pidgin fluently .    
    She was automatically taken from her house and placed in the hands of one of  the best photographer and makeup beautician in the country. THE life of JUMOKE SUNDAY the Agege bread seller changed in one day by chance .    
 

some people call her lucky , others call her blessed but I say her story is a story of UNCOMMON GRACE. JUMOKE SUNDAY the bread seller turned super model overnight .. She didn't do it by twerking on instargram nor by showing her nakedness. One week after she makes the cover of THISDAY STYLE. A path many so called  famous models have never attained In there whole career.  
  Hard work will put you were Good luck will find you. That kind of grace that breaks protocol. Jumoke's story is a typical example of Supernatural Speed. I am extremely happy for her , when is your time no one can stop you from attaining greatness..   
  Today she is my Sunday inspiration#chronicles of an Agege bread selleruncommon grace.   

A STEREOTYPIC JUDGEMENTAL SOCIETY (PART 2)

Are we not tired society , are our bones not weary? Even a king or a judge is tired of judging sometimes, how much more Society.

A lady is in her thirties walks into a shop, you happen to know her but your friend doesn't. She compliments her style from afar and you quickly retort. "Hey I know her , very intelligent nice woman , she is a manager at UBA bank but it's a pity she is not married". Who are you to judge? Who are you to condemn who is pitiful and what is not. Is it because you are married with kids and she is no? yet you pity her. You might be the one to be pitied because you might be in a loveless marriage and she is more than happy with her life .Must everyone be married to fit into Society's projection of double standards . Yet society sees you the married one, who might not be happy with your marriage, you cry and fight every week under the cover in the dark and clean your eyes in the morning and judge . Are we not tired of living deceitfully ? Of lying to ourselves ?
A lady walks into an eatery with a man,you are eating at another table , with your food in front of you . Yet you cast glances at them , trying to judge if they are single, or if she has a ring that shows she is married with a younger man that seems single . Or if the man is way older and the lady is younger . Then the devil starts using your mind to work wonders and judge them . Society are you not tired?
Do you know if the lady in question is a client or the man is a cousin? Do you know if the older man is an uncle or maybe just a friend. Whatever the case might be , even if it's the other way around , let's all learn to have an open mind.
Let's learn to give people the benefit of doubt, society it's time to mind our business. Let's learn to live with an open mind free of bias and prejudice.
If we decide to live above the suppose standards some prejudiced society has set, life will be much easier and happier .
Today my writing is not safe, I know I have written what must not be said, I might have stepped on some rigid toes , I might loose some ardent readers with this piece. Whatever the case might be I offer no apologies. If I don't write what must not be said outwardly who will? One way or the other we are all guilty ...
I do not owe anyone safe writing .

A STEREOTYPIC JUDGEMENTAL SOCIETY (PART 1)

It is safe, please write like this so people don't criticise your work is old news in my dictionary. I am tired of safe writings and safe writings are never truly the most honest. I Don't owe anyone safe writings , so today my writing is directed at the society.
We all live in a stereotypic judgemental society full of prejudice and bias, Africa or rather NIGERIA ranks the highest.
First of all, who are you to label a man or a woman irresponsible just because she has a tattoo on her body. You don't have to say it out loud , the wary look you give her tells of your opinion in your eyes . Are you not tired of judging? Are you any better. She chose to mark her skin with a tattoo for various reasons unknown to you. It's her way of dealing with what she has gone through or what she feels she needs, in the end it's her body and it doesn't affect her character or pedigree as a human.
Are you not tired of judging when you see a lady with short skirt or maybe tight short gown walk into a respectable lounge and decide to get herself a drink ? It's a bar for crying out loud and it's 7 in the evening and she is done from work and decides to change into that for reason best known to her . Maybe it's because she has great legs and decides to flaunt it,maybe she feels she looks Good in a tight dress and wants to build her self esteem. She might have kids at home or she might be single , whatever the case might be, you don't look her in the face with a sneer in you eyes and judge. Hey you with covered cloth who knows of your mission in the lounge, you
might be the she - devil in disguise in long skirts and covered top and she might just be the Angel.
Are you not tired of judging society? The man that drove or walked past you with a swagger to his steps and maybe cigarette in his mouth, doesn't mean you should cast disapproving glances from your side eye at him .Who are you to judge? He might be a doctor, saving lives or an engineer who just came back from work and you are the jobless one , yes smoking is his vice, he knows it's harmful and maybe he is dealing with it his own way. Is it your smoke? Does it affect his work ..let him be and don't stereotype him.
Are you not tired of judging? In church you cast glances and can pin point the Christian sisters and the non -Christians. The ones you feel that do not pray enough, the ones you feel are the rotten eggs in the society. Instead of concentrating in church, you cast contemptuous glances at a lady who maybe is sporting a six foot inch heel , or did not cover her hair and because of that you the (so called servant of the most high) already condemns and sees her as unworthy? Is your prayer any different of hers because she doesn't have the same wardrobe choice as you have ?Or are you the blessed Lord jesus to judge who is worthy to enter his house(church) and serve him and who is not? Is it your house ? who is the Christian and the non -Christian, that answer is left for the good lord to answer not you.
Are you not tired of judging , are you the Daniel that has come to judge? Who the hell set the standards, is your life the standard people are expected to follow?(PART 1)

IT'S A SELFISH YEAR

Oh yes ! It's a selfish year, said my friend as she sat down at Genesis with me, sipping her cocktail juice and munching on Shawarma . I raised my eyebrow's at her in shock, because i know she is a diet freak and she never eats shawarma. She is always scared that if she eats she will get fat and her hubby will leave her .Half her life she does the things to please only him, let me state here that her hubby in question is fat and eats all the Shawarma and junk food he wishes to eat with reckless abandon. She continued like she didn't even see my expression.
I am tired of doing things for others, learning to please people and displeasing myself. I am sick of putting others first before myself and having no one put me first. This year it's going to be all about me she said . I smiled, didn't want to ask her what inspired this herculean speech. The word caught my attention (SELFISH YEAR) as I reflected on it later that night.

Here is my take ...Yes indeed it's a selfish year . I have no words , no caption , no answers, just a few salient questions.
This year ,, how do you want to spend it ? Regretting?Question?Hating yourself?Dieting?(yes I said Dieting *lol* you can't kill yourself ) running after people who don't see you?
Are you not tired of complaining over the same things over and over again.
Are you not tired of hiding from yourself and letting the silly opinion of others take precedence in your life.

When was the last time you laughed from the depths of your soul?
When was the last time you had peace of mind?
When last did you fall asleep without tossing and turning, or worrying over someone who never cared about you.
When was the last time you were inspired to go an extra mile?
When was the last time you felt no fear only love?
When was the last time you smiled (I mean you really smiled from the depths of your heart.
It's alright to be selfish,it's alright to do a Lil bit of you, do what feels right. Believe in your self , you have this one life ..live well

WEDDING BLUES IN NIGERIA

    My stories are culled from my own personal experience or other people's experiences or stories, today's piece is from my own personal experience. A friend of mine who is getting married in a month's time in Port-Harcourt came to visit me on a saturday. Having nothing better to do that Saturday I followed her around  to her caterers shop were she alighted from the car to attend to some last minute  culinary arrangement . I stayed back in the the car waiting for her to emerge from the shop, lo nd behold my eyes fell on a piece of paper on her dash board.
  Call me the inquisitive cat but yes I opened the paper to read the paper out of boredom not snooping (winks). What did my eyes see.....first line on the paper          
Wedding hall - 1.5million                       
Hall decorations - 1million
caterers - 800k
Wedding gown - 150 (new) hired (50k)
Suit - 100k (new)
Sourvenirs - 500k
Make up artist - 150k (trad and white )
Wedding organiser - 100k   
     I would stop here for the sake of ink and not to bore you my readers, but the total amount of money spent on that list is 4million, at least 4million.  I forgot to add the cost of rings both engagement and wedding.It all made sense now , I could see why many things were they way they are in this country. It answered the unspoken question when I see men of marriageable age scared to pop the marriage question because they are looking for money to wed with salaries of 150 and 250k as a standard pay check . My friend got into
her car and I had to ask her about the list, most especially the hall. I won't call the names of the wedding halls in Port-Harcourt, but from what I gathered to get a good  standard 
 hall fully air conditioned with capacity to accommodate at least 500 guest would cost nothing less than 950 - 1million naira.  PLEASE quote me anywhere , I used my two eyes to see this in Port- Harcourt last weekend .                                                                              
  Trust me she wasn't extravagant , she just wanted to have a normal simple classy wedding . Its her day and she deserved that, the figure which I mentioned will give you a normal simple wedding in Port-Harcourt In this dwindling economy were naira has lost its value.  We don't want to think of the ones that make it to the popular wedding sites like Bella naija and the rest, those ones would make four million seem like a joke in today's economy. It all made sense , the amount of bachelor's we have roaming the town and not thinking of getting married . Why some of the young men look for young ladies who are working or actually doing something to shoulder some of the responsibilities. ( oh yes the okonkwo days are over ) why make -up artisans are now very lucrative with thousands springing up everyday . Why event decorators are springing up like fast growing corns.                            
     Especially now when the value of naira has fallen, everything became crystal clear in my eyes . To anyone getting married in this day and age , no matter how small the wedding might be is still a major feat .I just came to the conclusion after seeing  her list that wedding management is the NEW OIL IN NIGERIA.